I’m not a Lansing native. I’m originally from
the Detroit area and attended college near Grand Rapids. After
graduating, I found a job in Lansing. Being on my own in a new city was
equal parts scary and interesting.
The problem I faced after moving here was finding people my own age to spend time with. I was too old for the Michigan State University (MSU) crowd and too young for my married-with-children co-workers.
Being a bit of an introvert, I have difficulty striking up conversations with strangers or even just approaching them.
However, there is a bit of irony here: I have
no problem speaking in public or addressing large groups. I was a part
of live, improv comedy shows in college, and I’ve been a guest panelist
at several sci-fi and fantasy fan conventions around the state.
Impersonating a seasick pirate during an improv
game in a packed coffee house? Easy. Talking to a roomful of people
about horror writers from the 1920’s? Cake.
Approaching strangers and striking up a conversation? ERROR. DOES NOT COMPUTE.
I needed to find an easy way to meet others. I
scoured the newspapers for ideas and eventually found a young
professionals networking group. I had heard of these before and thought
I would give it a chance, hoping that my social phobias didn’t get in
the way too much.
The events I attended were fun and I did end up
meeting quite a few people. The group was a decent size, big enough to
not have to talk to the same few people but not overwhelming. I quickly
became a regular at the events, making connections and friends.
Over the months I attended meetings, the
attendance swelled from around 30 or so to more than 100. Meetings
became increasingly cramped, crowded and overwhelming. The larger
crowds were the main reason I stopped going.
The main goal of the group was to network, in
order to help you career-wise. No problems there; I’m a firm believer
in that networking is a good thing. Sadly, as the group grew, I was
approached more and more by folks who were only interested in me buying
their products or services.
I will say that I benefited more from the
smaller meetings than the larger ones. With too many people crammed
into one spot, it can be difficult to talk and hear each other
(especially at events in bars).
I would recommend that a new transplant find
smaller group events—perhaps a book club or at least something where
you don’t have to yell over a crowd—to meet people. But, larger groups
do offer more of a variety when it comes to meeting people, so trying a
little of both is a good idea.
Another way to find friends is to go to events
dealing with your interests. Say you like films. Go to a film festival
or find a film discussion group. I attended such group once, and we
discussed the film The Third Man.
Fear not, my fellow transplants, there are ways to meet people outside of work. Check the newspapers or even Web sites like Craigslist and Facebook to find groups to meet people. Some of my closest friends in Lansing are those I met through these kinds of groups.