It's not easy, making a connection -- whether it's romance, friendship, comic book pal, or play date for your labradoodle -- in the Ann Arbor area, if you don't know where to look. And it's not made easier by the fact that we're in a region leaking the young and talented as fast as trains, planes, and discontinued GM SUVs can take them away.
But all is not lost.
Cozied up with some of the leading schools in the nation, fed by a non-stop spring of fresh minds from all over the world, and populated by thinkers of all ages bent on making things better, the 'Scene' (if you know what I mean) for twenty-and thirty-somethings in Washtenaw County is still flowing. There are plenty of opportunities and venues for linking up.
Your mother may have been right after allDid all those mothers have a point when they told us that nobody meets anyone in a bar? We can only presume they were referring to meaningful, productive, and lasting relationships (whatever that means) with presentable and industrious people (whoever that means). They may have been wrong: Ann Arbor, and to a lesser degree Ypsilanti, boast some decent night spots that are conducive for finding new friends or meeting up with the old.
Sonia Gill is a recently unattached thirty-something who works as a development director for the University of Michigan. Like many professionals, she appreciates a soothing, recession-friendly happy hour after work: The Blue Tractor offers a relaxed vibe at the nifty chilled bar;
Old Town Tavern offers the chance for conversations that don't suck;
The Real Seafood Co rocks for drinks and appetizers; and
Eve satisfies her hankering for something a little more elegant. (Note: While Eve is known for its dinner-time population of couples cooing in the flattering lighting, it also boasts a more diverse social atmosphere featuring music and drink specials on Thursday nights between 9:30-11 p.m. More than a few couples have, well, coupled there.)
Gill also frequents the dance scenes afforded by places like Café Habana and the
Heidelberg. "Dancing is a great social equalizer," she laughs, "and it's a great way to have a good time, which is what it's all about."
Gill offers the caveat that, while rich in entertainment and meeting spots, as well as a constant flow of talented and interesting people, Ann Arbor can pose certain challenges for finding mates. "I frequently see that there is a real educational elitism to be found here," she explains. "You can see that it can be a real polarizing force in the dating scene if you pay attention. The transience of many of the students and faculty also plays a role in whether people form relationships."
Indeed, in a
university-dependent city with approximately 30 percent of its population being university or college students and over 16 percent being foreign born, you have a unique situation between long-term residents and those just passing through.
Thirty-five-year-old Scott C. James, president and CEO of Ann Arbor-born
Applied Dynamics, is one such foreign born resident. Yet although his business takes him all over the world, he has no plans of leaving Ann Arbor any time soon: In the ten years since he moved here from his native Canada, he has become a true townie and a vocal proponent of Ann Arbor.
"I wouldn't want to leave Ann Arbor permanently," he says. "For me it's a nice balance between a big city and a small town. And I'm continuously meeting amazing and diverse people in this town."
Living center stage on Main Street, James enjoys dining out for both business and pleasure in the downtown area. "The heart of the social scene for our demographic is in Main Street in the evenings," he says. "Ann Arbor is also great for brunches and happy hours, and I think that's where a lot of the social interactions focus."
To James,
Melange and
Pacific Rim By Kana are ideal spots for twenty and thirty-somethings to hang out because "they are well-run, and offer good food and service." He frequently takes business colleagues to dinner there. He also likes Sava's State Street Café for a bit of business and pleasure: He eats, works on his laptop and often chats with friends he runs into there.
"Fundamentally we've got to have more businesses located in the downtown corridor," he says. "It would be great to see more people living in the city as well, which would support a stronger downtown with more places to go."
"One of the things that makes Ann arbor so great is that on a given day you'll meet people from Europe, Africa, the Middle East, everywhere. It's definitely slower paced than Toronto or Shanghai, but it makes up for that with more of a community feel," he says. "And in Ann Arbor the education level is insanely high." He would agree with Gill that the population tends to be transient. "That's one of the neat things about Ann Arbor – you do have a steady flow of new people."
Another Ann Arbor transplant is university graduate Alessandra Noelting, a twenty-something who moved to Ann Arbor for school four years ago from Germany. She now lives downtown and loves the proximity to everything – and the fact that she doesn't even need a car.
"I'm happily not married, pregnant, or buying a condo, as a friend of mine loves to say," she says of her single lifestyle. She recommends Ashley's or
The Earl for dates, and Heidelberg or
Conor O'Neills for fun nights out with friends "especially on karaoke night!"
"I find out about most events through Facebook. I don't know if that's nerdy or not… probably," she says. As for the social scene for the unattached in Ann Arbor, Noelting admits she's not thrilled. "Ann Arbor was a great town to study in, but I'm ready to leave. A lot of events are outside of Ann Arbor, and I don't have a car, which makes getting there difficult sometimes."
YpsilantiIt's true that Ann Arbor can be insular. But then again, so can sister city Ypsilanti, a town that's just down the road and yet remarkably separate in its social offerings. Eastern Michigan University graduate and former downtown Ypsilanti resident Kristin Harsch points out that driving between the city she works in (Ann Arbor) and the city where much of her social life takes place (Ypsilanti) can be difficult without mass transit or the presence of a reliable designated driver.
"The Ypsilanti social scene is isolated," she says, "It's not ideal for meeting new people, or finding potential dates, but it is ideal for hanging out with friends. The advantage of downtown Ypsilanti is that it offers a walkable area that makes it easy to barhop without any driving."
Although the Ypsi dating scene is dry, both in her experience and that of her friends, Harsh recommends the area for its selection of live music venues and friendly atmospheres. She likes the dive bar
Elbow Room and
Keystone Underground, a martini bar offering music on Friday nights.
"In Depot Town you get an older, more laid back crowd, which is really nice."
For happy hours and once again, friendly atmospheres she likes
Sidetrack ,
Haab's Restaurant , and
The Tap Room. Ages range, she says, from about 21 to 70.
"I don't think Ypsilanti has necessarily been a good place to come meet people: If you are here you grew up here or went to school here and then stayed," says Harsch. "But I do think it's getting better, I think opinions are starting to change because of events like the
Beer Festival. Lately we're seeing more and more new faces visiting the community, which is really good."
While depending heavily on her Facebook account for events, Harsh also gets her news from
emYOU! The Magazine, a publication with the mission of attracting more people to downtown Ypsilanti.
Café Culture Coffee shops are great meeting places – but generally for those who already know one another. Although meet-ups certainly happen everywhere, cruising the coffee shop is generally frowned on – especially by the groups of students and professionals who use them as offices away-from-home. At the same time, what better way to mingle with your friends and soak up the local intelligence than by sipping espresso in an off-campus café like Expresso Royale (Main Street), Sweetwaters (Washington), or Bombadill's Café in Ypsilanti (Michigan Ave).
Social Networking Groups, Events While not oriented toward singles
per se, Washtenaw County's many social and networking groups afford a streamlined way to expand your circle of friends. Rich in galleries, festivals and events, the area affords numerous opportunities for mingling with those who have similar interests to yours. Many of these can be discovered at the helpful website
www.meetup.com, or by connecting via social media.
The Ann Arbor Art Center holds several annual events that make socializing and exploring Ann Arbor easy, while still supporting the arts. One such is the
Artini 2010, taking place on Feb 19 .
The YP Underground is a networking group for young professionals which holds social events with varying frequency to help connect local talent.
Those new to the area might find what the welcome they need in the
Newcomers Coterie Club of Ann Arbor, which provides a network for both single and married members, but is not widely known.
Meanwhile, unusual niche groups like
The Ann Arbor Adventure Group, though small in membership, give attendees an opportunity to meet new people while practicing activities like canoeing, hiking, skiing, and more. Gill, who just learned to scuba dive with the Adventure Group last week, recommends "staying out there," whatever type of social scene you're looking for.
"You just have to put yourself out there to meet everyone you can. It's super easy to come home after work tired, and just eat dinner and watch TV. But this area offers so much for everyone, you'd be stupid not to join up."
And that's probably something our mothers could all agree with.
Leia, who is still unmarried, did not meet anyone while researching this article, a fact which will probably disappoint her mother. She is also a frequent contributor to Concentrate.
Her previous story was Here, There, Then Back Again.
Send comments here. Check us out on Facebook
here.All Photos by David Lewinski
Photos:
Can I Get Your Number?
Sonia Gill is Waiting for Mr. Right
Scott James at the Black Pearl
This Guy was at the Bar and He Still Hasn't Found What He Was Looking For
Our Lovely Writer "Doing Research" for This Article
HmmmmmAll Photos Were Taken at the Black Pearl