Editor’s note: This is the third installment of our new blog. We will be asking for insights from people from across the community who have something to say about their experiences, the ongoing state of affairs, or their lives that will speak to our current time together. This week we hear from Joyce Pines. If you would like to contribute please let us know. — Kathy Jennings, Managing Editor, Southwest Michigan's Second Wave

When I don’t know what to do, I reach for a book. Books have been my sanctuary for as long as I can remember and when I encounter great problems, I seek the wisdom of the written word. Finding myself and my family in the middle of this pandemic, I have sought comfort from Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search for Meaning,” and Edith Eva Eger’s “The Choice: Embrace the Possible.” Both writers survived the concentration camp of Auschwitz and used the experience to inform their work as therapists. 

Both make the case that each of us gets to choose how we want to carry the weight of this world, this new reality we are facing. As a therapist, my job is all about helping people understand that while they can’t change or control what is happening, they can choose how best to respond. And the same goes for me.

In the midst of this pandemic, my work as a behavioral health professional is considered essential, according to the Department of Homeland Security. But my family is also essential and we had a son living in New York City, the center of the COVID-19 outbreak in the United States. My son and his partner agreed to come home if my husband and I would agree to self-quarantine with them for 15 days. Neither has had any symptoms but they made it clear they wouldn’t come if I didn’t agree to their terms. Fortunately, I had already planned a vacation and my boss has been kind enough to allow me to manage as much work as I can from home. 

So, we spent time rethinking space in our Westnedge Hill home to add two more adults and try and keep our distance from one another for safety.  Three of us are trying to work from home as much as we can. I can’t imagine what this would be like without our computer capabilities. And I’m wishing for a second full bathroom. My husband Brad left Saturday at noon and was home with the refugees by 10:30 Sunday night. 
Therepist Joyce Pines reminds people that self-care is critical right now.
I am feeling guilty for not being at Gilmore Community Healing Center, the inpatient substance use treatment program that I oversee. We are still treating those who are trying to enter recovery for alcohol and drug use disorders. The nurses, therapists, health care attendants, recovery coaches and facilities staff are incredibly brave folks. 

While I can retool my private practice to do therapy sessions by phone or video, especially with the temporary relaxation of some of the rules and insurance companies expressing more willingness to pay for phone or video sessions, that can’t be done in a treatment facility where nurses are giving medications and taking blood pressures.

Self-care is critical for everyone right now. Sleep, good nutrition, a spiritual practice -- whether it be prayer, meditation, a walk -- something to ground you in the now. All these things help. I also advise going on a news diet, limit the amount of information you take in a day. The numbers of sick and dying are going to continue rising for awhile -- there’s nothing you can do about that. 

What you can do is wash your hands frequently for at least 20 seconds, disinfect surfaces you touch, maintain the 6-foot distance from others as much as possible. This virus can be defeated by soap and staying out of the way of the breathing of others.

I am using some of this time to examine how I work and taking online continuing education courses in telehealth. It is interesting watching a seminar that took place in February and seeing the ease with which the facilitator is walking around the room handing a microphone to the participants. We wouldn’t do that today. 

I have rediscovered a very comfortable chair that has spent years as a repository for all the coats and stuff we brought into the house and just dropped. I moved it into my office and now sit comfortably in it as I write. 

We can’t run away from what is happening and we will only prolong it if we avoid feeling this as it happens. I’ve seen Facebook posts kidding about this being a good time to drink, inviting everyone out to our porches to raise a glass to one another. I can understand the friendly gesture of saluting each other from a distance with a raised glass but I wouldn’t encourage anyone to try and numb out this time in a bottle or doubling down on the Xanax prescription. Running away won’t make this go away, it will make it worse. 

One of the things I often say to clients in treatment for substance use disorders is that the feelings they are using drugs to escape from won’t kill them but the drugs might. Even those without substance use disorders are plenty afraid of their feelings. And the thing is, we can’t help but have feelings. They are there to tell us important things. 

Edith Eva Eger writes that she teaches her clients a mantra for their emotions: “notice, accept, check, stay.” First, we have to notice what we are feeling and name it. I am scared about finding myself, my loved ones, my friends, my co-workers, my clients in the middle of a pandemic. I accept that I am scared and I am checking my body for its responses to being scared which is a panicky sensation and a weight on my chest. I understand that I must stay with that feeling until it passes. I make it pass by asking myself about what is happening right now. 

Well, right now everyone I love is doing the best they can. I have plenty of interesting and purposeful work to do. My husband is healthy, my two children and their partners are healthy and I have this wonderful grandchild whose pictures and videos I am enjoying to the hilt right now. I am going to continue learning and reaching out to people and doing that which gives my life meaning. And when I need to step away, I will watch videos of my grandson, dive into a good book or television show and pet the cats. 

Joyce Pines is clinical director for adult services at Community Healing Centers in Kalamazoo. She is also a counselor in private practice with Scott Kelly & Associates. Prior to all that, she worked for more than 20 years as a journalist at the Kalamazoo Gazette where her husband Bradley S. Pines also worked.