The Metro Toddler

In some cities, creative and "kid-friendly" is the prevailing vibe -- parents enjoy drop in playrooms, hip bistros with play areas for the kids, and even "bring the kids" afternoon happy hours at local bars.

And then there's Metro Detroit, where parents looking to escape the mind-numbing mainstream grind of horrible parent-tot music classes, chain restaurants and big box stores hunt for places to meet like-minded parents. The status-craving hipster parent trend hasn't passed us by – walk down the streets of Ann Arbor, Birmingham or Ferndale and you'll encounter them, and their wannabes, by the Ramones-onesied droves.

But parents looking for a less self-conscious, more organic alternative to mass-marketed childhood have to look hard for places to gather. There are bright spots, however, as the rise of urban kid culture starts to take hold even in conservative southeast Michigan.

One of those bright spots is the Family Hootenanny, a series of concerts featuring local musicians who play to crowds swigging Stella Artois from the bottle instead of organic milk from a sippy cup. Their most recent triumph was the well-reviewed Holiday Hootenanny CD, which raised money for the Capuchin Soup Kitchen.

It was one of those horrid parent-tot music classes that inspired April Boyle (Full disclosure: Boyle is married to Issue Media Group co-publisher, Brian Boyle) to get the Family Hootenanny started. As part of the music scene for years, she knew lots of musicians and knew many of them had either become parents or were open to performing for kids.

It began with one show in 2003 and quickly grew to shows every spring and fall, reflecting a growing interest in quality music that children and parents can enjoy together.

"I think it's just more acceptable," she says. "Just because you have kids doesn't necessarily mean you have to stop what you were doing before. You can still rock, you just have to do it earlier in the day."

One of the Family Hootenanny's most recent shows was a visit from folkie Elizabeth Mitchell at Ladels' Bookstore, housed in a beautiful old house in Corktown. The store has become a mecca not only for parents who are raising their children in the city, but suburban parents drawn by the warm, personal service at the store and its mix of high quality multicultural books with nary a licensed character in sight.

Owner Lauren Thomas says that opening a bookstore was a longtime dream of hers. When she and her husband had their son six years ago, she was even more convinced of the need.

She's been thrilled with the response since they opened in June 2007 and says she wishes more people would take the leap in the city.

"There's the idea the people that have money won’t travel to you," she says, "but that's completely inaccurate." She sees that businesses, especially family friendly ones, are embraced by families who want to spend time downtown but find little geared to them amid the glossy entertainment district. "I wish I was a restaurateur," she says. "I would open a child-friendly place downtown. There's so much demand for it."

Redefining finger food

That's true, says Scott Joling, vice president of operations for Bastone in downtown Royal Oak. The Belgian brewpub and restaurant, which has a decidedly European vibe with its crisp black and white tile and dark wood tables, offers "kids eat free" Sunday dinners. It's a godsend for parents of young children who want a place to meet up with similarly child-equipped friends, but who don’t like facing the glares of the childfree at good restaurants or dealing with the barely mediocre cuisine offered at most family chains.

It's been wildly successful for Bastone, says Joling.

And not only do they offer a kid's menu every night, it's actually good food. "Kids are pretty restaurant-savvy," Joling says. "We developed the menu that had kids' items on it that was like an adult menu. Some places, it's almost demeaning [what's offered on kid's menus]. This treats them more like small adults than kids."

Urban play

Metro parents will often say that outside the sensory overload of Chuck-E-Cheese, there aren't a lot of indoor gathering spots for kids. In response cafe/play areas like Jungle Java in Ann Arbor, Farmington Hills and Canton and My Urban Toddler, in Saline just outside of Ann Arbor, have popped up.

Urban Toddler owner Rosa Lee, an architect, grew up in Ann Arbor and returned to the area after working in Chicago for many years when her surgeon husband took a job at University of Michigan Hospital. The gregarious Lee found it much more difficult than she expected to meet like-minded mom friends, likening the process to dating. She realized a play space where moms and their kids could gather would be very welcomed.

Lee opened Urban Toddler in 2006, with coffee for the parents and a city-themed, imagination-driven play space for the 0-5 year old set. It was immediately successful.

Since then, they've doubled their space and have expanded into retail. Lee stocks a well-chosen, well-designed selection of products such as diaper bags, strollers and car seats that are hard to find at the big-box baby stores.

They’ve also begun offering classes for families and for parents, everything from breastfeeding and childbirth classes to a Bollywood bhangra dance and fitness class for moms.

Her own experience as a mother to young children guides everything she does with Urban Toddler, Lee says. "When someone walks through the door, we don't know what happened that morning or the night before," she says. "If we see somebody struggling to get out of the car with a baby and a toddler, and it's raining, if we can run out with umbrella even that simple gesture will make their day."

"That is the greatest gift I can give, creating a community of support."

Do-it-yourself

Smaller and more education-oriented, but similarly parent-driven, is Play-Away Playroom in Royal Oak. The brightly colored, open space located in the Boys and Girls Club of South Oakland County offers wooden toys, climbing and play equipment for little kids, music and movement classes, field trips, and social events for families.

Their offerings have a gentle, child-driven feeling. "It's very grassroots, very community-oriented," says Laura Bodary, co-founder of Play-Away. "I'm very grateful for that feeling to it, even if developed into something slightly bigger or more commercial."

It began in 2002, when Bodary was introduced to Belinda Amner. The two hit it off and both saw the need for an open, affordable, less-intense play space for kids similar to one Bodary had known when she lived in Cambridge, Mass. The space opened that summer and now serves about 75 families a week.

Even with the growing choices of cool stuff for families to do, southeast Michigan boasts fewer far offerings than say, Seattle or Brooklyn, where kid-friendly bistros and alternative play spaces are easily found. 

Boyle, of the Family Hootenanny, chalks it up to a lingering conservatism. "People here, when they have kids they seem to think they have to move to the white picket fence and perfect school thing," says the mom of three sons, who lives in Detroit. "In places like Brooklyn or in Chicago, people want to live in the city and raise kids and still be hip and cool."

That doesn't describe that state of Metro childhood or parenthood in the Detroit area, at least not yet. But as more and more options come into play, we could be the next "in" place to raise a family.

Photographs by Marvin Shaouni